my question is one that has been asked millions of times... what should i do? it seems like a simple question that should have a simple, rational answer... but i don't see how that is possible in this case.
i'll try to keep this as short as possible but being as how confused i am by what has happened, i doubt i will succeed... so please just bare with me.
this isn't just the usual "she is ending it and i don't know why" scenario. there is SO MUCH more to it than that, so that is why i am so lost and distraught over it.
just so you understand us a little more, i've live in a small suburban town all my life. went to small schools. had basically the same group of friends. life was simple and i loved it. in second grade she came to my school. she moved to the town next to mine and she has been in my class from second grade all the way through my senior year in high school. we have always been friends in a way, we never really hung out besides a few rare occasions, but we were friends nonetheless. i knew she had a crush on me back in elementary and middle school but i wasn't even interested in dating back then, they still had cooties. then, in high school our small class of 13 mixed with 80 other kids to make up the freshman class. we weren't as close anymore and i never knew that throughout high school she had continued to like me.
....trying to keep this short, for some reason in the beginning of the summer, after going to a grad party for a friend of mine (she was there too), we had talked some more and she had invited me to her grad party too. i am a pretty quiet kid who never really went out with these particular friends before so it was somewhat surprising for them, and for her that i went. one thing led to another, and i found myself wanting to start hanging out more with her. and she of course wanted to as well. we started seeing each other for a few weeks sparatically, and little did i realize how much these hangouts were like dates. and that the one on one time we had wasn't typical of two plain old friends. after just talking from time to time in school, all of a sudden we were texting around 50 times a day. i found myself always thinking about the next time i could be with her. and when she went away for a week to go on a cruise i found that i had fallen for her. this was the first time i ever felt this way about anyone. it was my senior year summer and i finally found someone who i liked enough to actually have me have the courage to go out on dates, and actually have a lfriend.
she said yes.... of course. we both were deeply in love. we got to spend two months of this past summer together, and it couldn't have been more amazing. with our history, it truly was something real and seemingly perpetual. we NEVER thought we would EVER want to be without each other. i couldn't believe i didn't realize how amazing she was before this summer, after all these years of knowing her. i know i had zero dating experience before this, however i know with all of my heart that we both we in love. what we had was as more real than anything else in the world. we would be upset if we had to spend one day without seeing each other. we texted every night until one of us fell asleep. i never felt so comfortable being with another person in my whole life and i could share anything and everything with her. and her to me. we were perfect.
college came. i left two weeks before her, and it was hard as hell. but we still were close and talked about everything, and we still talked about everything little daily event and detail. we missed each other so much already, even when i would make the drive back a couple times to see her before she left too.
neither of us could see an end to us. we believed with all of our heart that we would easily make it through being seperated at school. that we were not a typical young couple right out of high school. because we weren't.
we then were experiencing a new life, new school, new friends, LOTS of freedom. we were busy as hell, and talking decreased, but that was to be expected. we didn't have the freeness in our schedules like we did during the summer. and i dealt with that, we thought that being apart would only make our feelings stronger for each other and that when we were together again we would be even more in love. and we would be even happier together.
now, it is all about to end. i won't get into the whole situation thats been going on since friday night, but basically she told me that she just doesn't even feel like we are in a relationship anymore and that she doesn't feel the same way she did about me over the summer. she doesn't really know what caused this, and she is stern on the fact that it is not my fault at all (although i feel she is wrong about this). Our friendship is still very important to both of us, I just don’t know how to handle all this. I don’t want to give up on us because I feel like what we had was so real that it can’t be completely over. There must be a part of her that still feels that way I do, and that when we are together we could rediscover that magic we had. But I don’t want to try and “fix” us if that means that it would ruin our friendship. And how can I handle our new relationship as just friends? I know I always want to be close to her no matter what, just not sure on how to get through the initial weeks/months when I will still want to be more than friends. When I am still holding on to a false hope that we can still be together.
