Since we do not know exactly what you told your friends, it is hard to determine why your friends did what they did. The fact that they strongly suggested that you seek help, tells us that, perhaps, what you told them may have alarmed them a great deal.
Friends aside, I agree with janissa. You are here because of an issue that needs a professional to help you through what you are dealing with. You are asking questions on your post, that will take a little bit of time to find the answers to.
It is very promising that the thoughts that you are describing have lessened over the years, however, I still feel that it is absolutely necessary that you seek professional help.
Elena
P.S. Therapists are there to help you, not judge. They have the tools to help you heal and move beyond what has happened to you and the aftermath.
