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Is she saying she wants to be more than friends?

Is she saying she wants to be more than friends? After college…I crushed on my best friend since high school told her about my feelings, she told me she see me as a friend. Through the years she been flirty and too close to me as in leaning and touchy feely that confuses me of thinking she might like me. I ask her to stop and now she tells me she has unsure feelings for me. She emailed me back after the email I sent her asking what her unsure feelings meant. her email>>

 

"Ok first off, yes I may be bi curious seeing as I am attracted

To of both sexes or may be its just envy.... regardless though,

I do not want to be in a relationship now. It has nothing to do with

fear. It’s just me wanting to finish school with nothing making my life

harder than it already is. At the moment I have way to much stress in

my life to add a relationship into it. And as for your freak out

thing, I ‘ve told you before, I don’t mind that you like me in the way.

I ‘m just not ready yet. I still see you as a friend. And as for the

attention thing, I have always been clingy; I’m now just starting to see

just how clingy I can become at times. As for not answering you for a

long time, I was thinking things over trying to figure stuff out and

what not."

 

What does this mean to you?

I am bi sexual, crushed on her for 8 years I known her for 10 years. I live 2 hours away from her.

she told me she see me romanically and as a friend. she not sure. so i am just going to let her find out on her self. i am not going to push her to come to me. and i want to know what she meant when she said "I don’t mind that you like me in the way.I ‘m just not ready yet. "

we are still friends we text each other and will hang out in october. (i live 2 hours away from her)

 


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4552 helpful answers

Love is the battery of life....

Hi,
Hope that you are an open person and I won't need to sugarcoat my words.  What I read and feel is:
1.  She likes you.
2.  But she is not entirely sure about her sexual preferances.
3.  At the moment she wants to stay friends just as you
     were all the time (that means she doesn't want to be
     more intimate with you). 
4.  But she leaves space for that in the future (after she'll
     more clear about herself and her sexual preferences).
5.  Please take into acount that she is trying to be nice to
     you and hides the truth.
The best advise I can give you is: Be nice to her, let her be herself, don't be pushy / clingy, tell her you accept her as she is, tell her you want to help her and support her, tell her you understand her situation (hope you REALLY REALLY REALLY do !), tell her you'll be tolerant and a real "friend" to her, promise her that you won't be pushy / clingy.   If you do so you increase your chances to make her fall for you.
Best regards,

Helpful?(2)
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46 helpful answers

"what I don’t understand is she said that she was straight and saw me as a sister now I cant stop thinking about her, why is she not letting me get over her ? Why isn’t she replying back? What should I do? We both are just unsure of ourselves of sexuality and feelings it’s just puzzling!?!?"

lolo I copy and pasted this from your previous questions that I read. The thing that seems to stand out to me is the ?'s "why is she not letting me get over her immediatly followed by why isn't she repying back." You said she had sent you a text saying she needed time to think befor she responded. I get the impression that its you who is holding on, You are holding on in hopes that she will change her mind. We all do it! Its not her that is not letting you get over her its you not letting go of her. When we have crush on someone for such a long time we always hold on to that little wish in our hearts that thinks Maybe, Maybe if i am patient, Maybe he/she will see how much i love him/her, ect... Your friend said  "I don’t mind that you like me in the way. I ‘m just not ready yet. I still see you as a friend." Everyone likes to be liked. It is nice to have someone that crushes on you and (for lack of better words) worships the ground you walk on.  But your friend is still telling you "I ‘ve told you before" "she isn't ready for anything other than JUST BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU.. She may never be ready for anything other than that. You need to figure out for yourself how to let go of her if you can't stand the closeness that you share.  I think your friend is clinging to you because she is comfortable with you. Its just in her nature to be a touchy feely kind of person.

"I have always been clingy; I’m now just starting to see just how clingy I can become at times."

I really don't feel she is trying to torture you or hurt you, Its just that old habbits are hard to break.

I suggest you spend your time together in Oct. and then you should figure out how to move on with your life. She can't do it for you . She has been a friend and has been supportive of your alternate life style but she doesn't seem to be accepting this lifestyle for herself as openly or 100% as you are.

I hope this answer helps you in some way there are some aspects of it that maybe i'm off on concidering I don't understand the bi sexual curiosity. I'm straight 100% I do have female friends whom I have been like sisters to, and to some maybe clingy but for us we are comfortable with each other and don't concider any of it flirty.

Posted 2009-08-23T13:59:41Z
Shannonr1179 was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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