Hello, i think i might have paranoid personality ...

PB, Are you able to seek guidance from a school counselor? Is there a teacher you could mention this to? One thing I know is that we are all vulnerable to applying symptoms to ourselves. We can read about headaches and suddenly feel like we have one, we can read that some headache someone had ended in it being caused by a tumor and we are alarmed because that's exactly the same symptom we've had etc etc. I would not shrug this off because it could be serious, but you won't know until you find out for sure and if your parents are not sympathetic to your "ailment" you need to seek help elsewhere. NJoy

Sometimes PB, you have to take a chance.  You've done that by writing to Yedda.  So, if you could go to someone working in a field that tries to help people, like a church/temple leader in your community, perhaps that person could find help for you.  It is very frustrating to try to get on in this life without being able to trust.  If you've been so mistreated by others that you find no one trustworthy, you are in a very difficult place.  Try to find a new acquaintence who will help like a priest/minister/rabbi.  If you were to find a doctor on your own, do you think you'd be able to trust him/her?  If you go to the hospital to visit your boyfriend there are most likely volunteer counselors there who might be able to help.  But you'll have to take a chance and give "trust" another try. NJoyG

I know how u feel...My parents come from Soviet Union and they have PPD but of course if I tell them that they won't believe me.

At least u understand your problem. That's really good, cos the 1. step is being able to look at yourself objectively.

If u don't have much money try reading some Psychology books or talking to a counselor.

Or ask others around u if they think these symptoms apply to u.

PB i am well aware of the pressures of the surrounding enviroment things look wierd and worse they feel out of place feeling like all u do is want to yell or scream. most of the time all we really do is run away hide within our own thoughts with no real perception on the things around us. The sensation that we feel is negative in the sence of we hold it in the very best thing that u could have done you DID you spoke it. though i do warn as we type our paranioa becomes worse because we actually seclude ourselves over the computer truly only a peice of electronics to talk to. i really hoped that helped u have a better view on your FEELINGS........... paranoiis the other half of a feeling it is a thought.