What is it about me?

I am not a theripst,but have had simular situtations...Honey the only thing you can do,and you wont like it,is to GET OUT...I know you want to protect your family,but you can't help them unlss they are ready to help themselves and in the mean time you are getting the blunt end of it...It's hard to seperate our selves from those we love,but you will never accomplish any thing by putting you self in jeperty...Find a Crisis sevice in your area,talk to them they will help you to start a better life...

Good advice Joseph...gave you two thumbs up.  Let me jump one step ahead... Gail, you have so many issues going on and it must seem extremely unfair to you.  I can tell you this.  It can only get better from here!  They will tell you that you can't pick your family, but I'm here to tell you that is not true.  These people that are hurting you probably won't stop any time soon.  You need to get on your feet and away from them!  As you meet people you will see that your new friends become as family.  And they will help guide you. 

You do deserve better, but only you can make the changes that need to be made.  Get yourself into college if you haven't already.  There is plenty of money out there and you can do it.  Work, go to school, move out and as far away as you can handle financially, and work on getting yourself better. 

Try to understand that people love you, but in a dysfunctional way.  I suggest you pick up a copy of Co-Dependant No More by Melodie Beattie and read that first!  You have to understand that alcoholism has created co-dependence in your entire family.  Once you can seperate yourself from all the drama and pain, you can learn to move on.  Put one foot in front of the other and march to a different drummer... Best wishes!

First...the tuition.  Are you employed?  If yes, of course it depends on how much money you make.  There are grants and loans.  Loans do not have to be paid back until you finish school.  Grants are free money.  Also, most colleges have emergency funds stashed.  Get in early each semester and ask for it.  Use everything that is negative in your life to your advantage.  For example, your father is an alcoholic.  Look for grants for that.  Also, look for employment in the field of your interest and often you will find funds for higher education there as well.  Like NIKE says...just do it!  Bartend, wait tables, clean houses on the side, whatever it takes. 

 Get busy.  The more you fill up your time, the closer you get to your goal, and the less time you have to think about all the issues in your life.  I always say... People either add something to my life, or they take from it.  The takers ?  They don't get much space or time with me.  It is not wrong to say to someone, I love you very much and when you get your sh_t together, give me a call.  You will be amazed at how fast the drama will move out of your life, leaving you the time and energy to focus on more positive things.

get a job. Move out. Find a cheap apartment or room to rent asap. Why torture yourself just because you share DNA with them?