My cousin told me today that he is bi-sexual. He ...

leave him a lone. it doesn't matter if someone is bi. i happen to have a very close freind who is bi

He is probably looking for support and acceptance more than anything else. His sexuality is not a disorder. Whether he is bi or gay is something that he has no control over, just as you have no direct control over your own sexuality. He is not part of the majority, but he is still normal.

Gay and bisexual persons who have not yet accepted themselves often do and say things to try to lead others not to suspect that they are bi or gay – for fear of being rejected. Deep down inside his opinion on homosexuality might always have been what it is now, but because he feared that everyone would reject his views and ultimately reject him, he kept it to himself and just said what everyone wanted to hear.

His actions seem more like those of someone who simply wants understanding; he just wants to feel that he is loved unconditionally.

The church and its members (especially its members) are often far less accepting and loving than they purport to be. They judge and compartmentalize and condemn people in the name of 'love'.

You be different.

Help him by loving him for who he really is and by being there for him. Do not try to change him. He is the same person he has always been; you just know a little more about him now. He might become more relaxed around you and he might be more open now, which you may perceive as him having changed. Give him freedom and space to be himself.

Be grateful that he trusted you enough to tell you, and be prepared to support him.

Get over it. Seriously. What he does in the privacy of his own genitals has nothing whatsoever to do with what kind of person he is. He obviously valued you enough as a friend to confide in you. To do anything other than continue to be his friend and support him is a betrayal. Many homosexuals and bisexuals have an extremely hard time accepting their own sexuality. The last thing he needs is someone to condemn him or think he's mentally ill.

Good to know that at least that bit of him would be OK :-).

What has happened in the past when you have confronted him about lying (the times when it wasn't something that he was wrong about, but that he deliberately lied about)? Has he ever shared his reasons for lying, even if it's 'I don't know why I did that'?

Compulsive lying often stems from insecurity. As I said in my previous answer, I think he is yearning for acceptance – he might be afraid of rejection (whether the fear is rational or not). However, he is clearly going about it the wrong way.

Sometimes persons with ADHD or bipolar disorder might start lying compulsively to cover up things. Psychological disorders such as conduct disorder and antisocial personality disorder often involves compulsive lying. With conduct disorder one also finds other forms of deceit.

However, to be sure, you will have to get a professional opinion and be prepared to provide more details.

Does his behaviour involve other socially unacceptable acts (e.g. bullying, cruelty towards animals or humans, conning people, or stealing), or is it just the lying?

Do you perceive him as someone with empathy for others?

It is very hard to remain friends with a compulsive liar, but, if his lying is rooted in a more serious issue, he or she might not be able to control it. He or she will often need professional help.

Have you pointed out some of the lies to him in the past? Try gently pointing out lies by saying things like 'That doesn't sound quite right. Are you sure that really happened?'

You might want to confront him about his sexuality and say something like this:

'If you really are bisexual or gay, that is totally fine by me. I have already accepted you as you are, since you've always been you, whether I knew every little detail about you or not. However, if you are only saying it to get some kind of reaction, don't expect anything different from me. Whether you are gay or bi or straight will not change my behaviour towards you. But lying to me will probably just damage our relationship, causing us to drift apart, and making you feel rejected – which is something that both you and I would probably want to avoid. It is safe to tell me the truth. You're stuck with me, I'm afraid – no matter what the truth might be. Keep it real, and you will have a real friend in me.'