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CC

Ok.. so I just turned 17 now. My boyfriend and I ...

Ok.. so I just turned 17 now. My boyfriend and I have been happily together since July 15, 2008. I love him to death. Back in the Fall of 2008.. I got pregnant. We knew something was up, but I took several tests and all said that I wasn't. So we kind of said well maybe I'm not.. it's just something else. Well.. at the first of December 2008, I had a misscarriage.. and that is how I found out. I wasn't too far along, but something inside of me just changed. Me and my boyfriend went through a little bit of a rough start of after that. We were both scared and didn't know what to do. I went to some of my closes friends for advice, but they didn't know what I was going through. I was so scared. I never have looked at it as a mistake, I looked at it as losing our child. We have been really happy ever since. I think that it really brought us closer than anything. We are so in love. We have talked a bit about getting married, after high school and college. He is a high graduate, and plans to go to college and become a kind of accountant. I want to become a nurse. We both are straight A students. Both have a plan. Here resently he brought something up about buying a house here in a year or two and for us to get married and move into. It is sooner than we had hoped for, but I am really liking the idea. We have money plans, and we have talked about so much stuff. We ask family and friends about their opinions and advice, but no one knows the whole story. Most people say that we are too young and that we should wait till after college, but his grandparents are all for it. They love the idea.. and don't think that we are too young. I just need advice. I am so confused. I still hurt from losing the child even though it has been so long. It bothers him too, but he doesn't talk about it and doesn't like to. So..idk. Please help.


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217 helpful answers

You young people who are "In Love" drive me to the brink. You don't listen to advise you don't like because you are in love and it's like no other love ever. That is so full of CRAP. If he left you you would cry for a while and two months later be with some other boy and "In Love" Do you really think this is the one you will spend your life with? You made the mistake of getting pregnant, that was not smart and you didnt use protection. There are 2 mistakes, and now lets throw marriage and more children in the mix while you go to collage that you won't finish.You will follow the track every stupid child goes that think they are grown up and play with sex not even knowing how to be safe. You wasnt smart enough to save yourself for the man you will marry and when you do then take a track record of partners who has done you and haw many children by different fathers. God you stupid kid's make me scream. and the world is full of you stupid people. You will be a drain on the government and a poor example of a parent.  I told it to you straight, didnt hold back because you asked. I know you won't listen and look around you and see the other looser girls who picked looser boys and let them talk them into sex. Belive me someday you will look back and say "I thought I loved only him" You will be in love a lot of times. And welcome to poverty. Without a collage degree you won't make it in the future.

 

Posted 2009-08-11T03:22:41Z
 
2 helpful answers

Some young marriages work. Have you talked to your parents? If you both want to go to school then maybe you should wait to get married. Schooling will take up alot of your time. After you are done with school you will be a little older and wiser . You might find out that you both  might be glad you waited and that neither of you want to be together anymore. You might find out that you still want to get married and with a college degree you will be better suited  to begin life together as married

Posted 2009-08-11T03:25:22Z
 
Jay
1272 helpful answers

Glass sculpture, Chihuly at Grant's Farm; http://www.chihuly.com

Victims of circumstance owe it to fate. Victims of choice owe it to themselves.

CC-

Is ML your screen nickname?

After reading your question and Elden's post, it appeared to me that the ages had gotten switched.

I personally think that the two of you are probably too young to think of marriage, but you have taken the relationship to the point that is equivalent to ripping a feather pillow open in a hurricane. There is no way to go back to where you start, so you will need to make the best of this.

I would strongly urge you to become actively engaged in marriage counseling and possibly some type of partner therapy (possibly as a group). I do not think that you are nuts. I am urging the two of you to get as many bullets out the the chamber as you can before you pull the trigger.

No kids until both of you are out of school and employeed.

"his grandparents are all for it." I will bet you dollars to donuts that this position is based on extreme selfishness--------------- They want to have a great-grandchild.

I wish you the very best. I hope that you will be able take several of your children to visit Elden in the nursing home in 20 years.

Shalom,

Jay

Posted 2009-08-11T04:06:58Z
 

Ok well first Elden. We did use protection and we were safe. I got pregnant on the very first time. He is the only one I have ever done anything with. So, don't go calling me "loose" I know what that is. And I never at once said that we were planning on having children beforee marriage. We are not dumb. It was an accident. We were both careful and it was the first time. So.. your answer was good, but you assumed some of the wrong things.

Posted 2009-08-12T00:26:17Z
 

Ok well first Elden. We did use protection and we were safe. I got pregnant on the very first time. He is the only one I have ever done anything with. So, don't go calling me "loose" I know what that is. And I never at once said that we were planning on having children beforee marriage. We are not dumb. It was an accident. We were both careful and it was the first time. So.. your answer was good, but you assumed some of the wrong things.

Posted 2009-08-12T00:28:12Z
 
217 helpful answers

No I didnt. You didnt know what the H--- you were doing, didnt ask questions, make plans for protection or anything. Thats why you think it was a accident, it was stupid and childish. Why would you take the gamble when a baby is involved. Stop and think...Im not trying to spare your feelings or hurt you, I just think you need to be talked to stright and lay it out. You did something dumb and I won't let it go without telling you what a mistake kids make with sex. It not for recreation. When you get into the adult world dont expect to be treated like children.

Posted 2009-08-12T03:26:51Z
 
Jay
1272 helpful answers

Glass sculpture, Chihuly at Grant's Farm; http://www.chihuly.com

Victims of circumstance owe it to fate. Victims of choice owe it to themselves.

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