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Hi Yedda, My name is Tanya. Me and my fiance have ...

Hi Yedda, My name is Tanya. Me and my fiance have been together for almost a year now but i feel as though he does not understand me. He is all about having fun and when it comes to talking about serious things he tries to change the subject. We have been talking about marriage but I dont see seriousness in him about it. I feel as though he has lost interest in me or is not attracted to me anymore. I feel this way because we have not had sex for 3 months or more as he is suffering from Erectile Dysfunction. Could it be that he is cheating on me with someone? Is that why he does not hear what I have to say. I dont want to break up with him because I love him very dearly and want a future with him. How do I make him listen to me and make him see that he is breaking my heart without him even knowing it? I have talked to him and tried to tell him what he does to me and he just turns around and asks me why I am with him then, if all I do is find fault with him! Please help. Distressed gal


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4552 helpful answers

Love is the battery of life....

Hi Tanya,
You are not going to like my answer: A year passed and as you see your relations didn't develope in the right way and to the right level.   I have the feeling your fiance is not matured enough (or, you are much more matured than he is).  He might anjoy being with you but not much more.  He doesn't intend to raise your relations to a higher levels.  I don't know if he is cheating or not but it is sure a possibility.  Sorry to hurt you but you'll have to start realizing that this man is not for you..... The best advise I can give you is: Give him a chance in a remote hope that he'll get matured but if it doesn't happen (say within 3 months) better move on.   Sorry Tanya (I only want to help you !).
Best regards,

Posted 2009-11-08T16:54:24Z
 
2137 helpful answers

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think.

_______________________________________________

*I do not read or write anything in the "Comments" section.*

 

Great answer, OronD. Thumb up!

Tanya, your fiance does not hear what you have to say because he does not care to listen.

He is your fiance in name only; nothing more. His actions do not back it up, nor do his words.

In fact, after seeing what you wrote about his behavior I have to ask: Whose idea was it to become engaged, yours or his?

I am not trying to be mean, but it sounds to me as though he may have agreed to an engagement just as a means to silence your talk about marriage. And if so, then it is no wonder he does not behave in the manner of an engaged man - because he never wanted to be one, so he doesn't think of himself in that way.

Think about it. Could that be it?

Posted 2009-11-08T18:02:28Z
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2137 helpful answers

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think.

_______________________________________________

*I do not read or write anything in the "Comments" section.*

 

Tanya, please do not stick with your fiance because you think you can "change" him.

That is a sure recipe for divorce court.

You have been given very good - and truthful - answers. In your original question, you state that you and your boyfriend have been together for nearly a year. The fact that you now insist that he just needs some time because he had not been in a relationship for quite some time (before he met you) speaks volumes.

It says to me that my guess was absolutely dead on.

Your profile shows that you are 28 years of age. I am presuming this means your boyfriend is about that same age, or perhaps a smidge older. He hadn't dated anyone for five years before he began his relationship with you, he is "all about having fun," you haven't been physically intimate for three months and you've been together not even one full year; is that not correct?

And you believe he seriously asked you to marry him?

Please, honey. Wake up and face reality.

Your boyfriend may love you. Indeed, he may ONE DAY decide he wants to get married. He may even decide he wants to marry you. He's just not ready now!

You pushed him into it, sweetie. That's why he acts the way he does.

I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

Posted 2009-11-09T17:56:11Z

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