Goddessnyx, when God asks us to fear Him, He doesn't mean like we should be afraid of Him, but to honour Him and live for Him in faithfulness. We can only do so if we love Him. And the only way to love Him is to believe that He loves us and understand this. God doesn't punish us by hurting our families and loved ones. God loves us and it hurts Him when we are in pain. Many times we hurt ourselves by what we do. There is also suffering in this world because it's not a perfect place because of sin. And Jesus, talking to His desciples, said "in the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world". Maybe He was not only talking about tribulation resulting from following Him (because many people are hurt from others because they follow Jesus), but also the normal suffering that all people have simply because they're living in this fallen world.
You just need to undersand that when God allows us to have pain, it's not because He is punishing us. And the best way to face pain, is to go to God!
