And?
Sammie, all the fear and concern in the world means absolutely nothing if you won't do something about it.
You cannot continue to whine and cry about this if you refuse to take any steps to help yourself. You have shared your feelings and we have all responded.
People have given you suggestions and encouragement. They have shared their own colonoscopy experiences in an attempt to prove to you that your fear is far worse than the actual procedure.
Now it's your turn.
You are the only one who can take yourself in hand and set things in motion.
If you are not ready to have the test, then don't have it. If you are not ready to stop drinking and smoking, then don't quit.
The bottom line, Sammie, is that you must now take ownership of your feelings and your actions - and you must acknowledge and accept them, as well.
Choosing not to make a decision is also a choice, you know. What happens next is completely up to you.
