Relationships,freindships

END THE RELATIONSHIP ONCE AND FOR ALL.  Why prolong the agony of a breakup.  A clean break is best for everyone including the young child.  You are just being selfish by not giving your ex to his family.  And, you could be the cause of a future failed marriage.  Where does that leave the child?  If for no other reason think of this child.  He needs both parents.  Not a parent and his lover.  Such situations never work out in favor of the 'other woman' which you apparently are at this time.  Find things to distract yourself from this self-destructing behavior and eventually you will have forgotten all about him and moved on with your life.  Perhaps even meeting his 'replacement'.

He can't be yours.  He is married with a small child.  You cannot be friends with a man you have stronger feelings for.  It is too easy to cross the line.  If you want to feel good about yourself, doing what is best for everyone, you will end the relationship for good.  There are some things we just can't have.  Most of us deny ourselves very little these days.  Walk away with your head held high, your moral fiber intact, and a growing self respect.  If nothing else, think about that baby and its mother.  How would you feel in her shoes?

You've gotten good advice from citrine and skitch but I'm not sure you're getting good counselling. I've read what you've written (below) and it seems to indicate that she thinks this is a test and it's up to you. I'm familar with counselling and I understand the idea is for them to help people make decisions in their own best interest but the wording here sounds like she thinks it's a 50/50 proposition.

"have spoken to my counsellor and she thinks this is a good opportunity to learn about discernment and intuiting the truth and what is best for me."

but I see it as a big opportunity to get into a real messy situation. I think your comment (below) shows far more insight;

"I believe its a good chance to learn whether I fall into unhealthy love patterns."

and sounds to me like you have a good chance to make the right decision. Best of luck to you.

Please do NOT act on these feelings you are having.  It will bring disaster on you and him and his family.  Your relationship with him is over.  OVER.  Do not start it up again, even though you know you could and even though your carnal side wants to.  Go away by yourself and find your deep down goodness.  It will guide you, and it will not guide you down the wrong path.  You need to work on forgetting this fellow.  Find a job, a volunteer position, a new hobby of writing, or reading, painting, something creative that gives you joy.  Find God in your life and do nothing to destroy a man and his family and your own life.

I have been on the receiving end of that hurt, If he has a wife, then he is married. It doesnt matter if he is in a happy marriage or not, He is still married. If he isnt happy then he needs to get a divorce. But not for you, For himself. He has babies, They did nothing to deserve what will come out of your relationship with there daddy, There are innocent and deserve the very best, If he has girls, he needs to show them what a man is and how a man should treat them, if he has boys, he needs to show them what a real man is, and how to treat a woman. There is no question you still have strong feelings for him, but love yourself enough to let go, if you were ment to be, you will be. But he needs to figure out what life he wants. Please dont put yourself in the middle of what will be a disaster, Dont have you name assigned to hurt that will be directed to his babies or anyone else. Good Luck Susan H-K Michigan

be silent and in that silence you will find and hear the voice that comes from your inside  and you know as u said the answer the right one psa happy person is which spreads happiness around them

I hope you will take this as what it is supposed to be: just an opinion. But I would try and avoid contact especially if feelings are still invoved. That is to be fair to you, to him and his family. You need to move on. He needs to work on making his family life happier. And his family needs him to be there.