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Relationship at stake HELP !!!

I'v been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months.we get on great and dont argue that much, But... we have been arguing alot recently over a certain issue.

There's this girl who keeps on texting him and ringing him, even when we're in bed she rings his house phone early hours in the morning. he told her to leave him alone, to stop texting and ringing him, 'That didnt work'. Then i tryed to tel her to stop but seh payed no attention to me and is still doing it.

And for the first time today i met her in person. We were in the hairdressers for my boyfriends haircut and her and her friends stood outside like school girls waiting for us to walk out. we're all round the same age of 21 but im a pretty small girl and her and all her friends are twice my size. it sounds silly but i feel like im back in school and feel really intimadated by it all.

It feels like she is going to destroy me and my boyfriend, we tryed asking her nicely but that didnt work and dont want to be firm incase she turns nasty and agressive, i shouldnt be made to feel like this at my age its petty but i have clue on what i can do now and i fear my relationship will be destroyed over the whole issue. Im completely lost and would appretiate some advice on how to deal with her without it getting out of hand and agressive ... pleaze help me !!!


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If you really think that this is really serious then go to the police and get a restraining order on her. Tell them what has been going on and tell your boyfriend to keep the txts that she sends and any messages that she leaves. I hope that it works out for you guys. Good luck!

Posted 2009-05-24T00:03:57Z
 

Hi huny, well let me give you a little advice...I had a similar situation happen to me. First thins first, HOW DID SHE GET YOUR BF'S NUMBER? Did he give it to her? Does this bother him as much as it bothers you? If so, #1 thing to do- BLOCK HER NUMBER. It takes 1 minute on the phone with the phone co and your done. Also, make this known to the police dept in your area. I know it sounds silly and exreme, but take the angle that "you are kind of almost scared and you want them to know JUST INCASE SOMETHING HAPPENS". THEN, if she persists and keeps showing up where you guys are, call the cops (don let her know) and file a restraining order on her. I now it sounds like a lot, but girls can be very crazy and she doesn't seem too far from that.

How does she know where you guys are going? Are you 100% ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE he is not talking to her on the side? That seems to be a tricky age for men, they can decide if they wan to have 10 gf's at once OR find the girl he can bring hom to mom and start a family with.Just make sure he is being honest. If it doesn't boher him as much much as it bothers you or if he saying things like "just forget about it! Why are you getting so upset" bla bla bla Odds are, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but he is not being faithful.

Above all else, be safe. I learned the har way- no man is worth you having to worry this much about. I am so happy I got to see this. I hope I helped.

 

Take care or you.

Lo

Posted 2009-05-24T00:44:10Z
 

Lo i agree with everything that you are saying except for the whole unfaithful part. I mean they have been together for 3 years.If he were going to cheat on her he would have done it sooner and also why would he not tell the crazy chick to when mizz isnt around? Wouldnt that make more scence? Im a guy too and i think that it is quite stereotypical to assume that mizz's BF is cheating on her just cuz he has a stalker.

Posted 2009-05-24T02:46:53Z
 
842 helpful answers

     S.N.O.T.S.

Snotsworth's Fair Lady Snots'quus

May The Horse Be With You !

Thumbs to LoFa1210 great answer .  I have the same questions myself for you . Your BF can take care of this very easily IF HE WANTS TO .  This is up to him not you .  If he respects and loves you and then he can and will put an end to this , by blocking her number on his phone or changing his number .  If the calls continue then he's made a CHOICE to allow her to keep calling .  Your problem is not this other girl , your problem is your BF . Again this is a problem that is very easy for your BF to solve , if he wants to .  Talk to him , suggest he either block her or change his number .  Personally , his decision to these two suggestions would determine if I stayed in the relationship with him or not .  If he does neither of these I'd be gone and never look back .

LoFa1210 , Nice answer .  Welcome To Yedda

Iamjonnymoon , While I agree with some of what you have said .  The fact is , the BF can put a stop to the phone calls very easily , block or change his number .  And take your advice and get a restraining order .  Infidelity strikes some couples after many years of being together , I personally do not think that infidelity as a time table .  Welcome To Yedda .

Posted 2009-05-24T02:51:20Z
 

Yea, i would say have your bf change his number and/or block her. And if all else fails tell the police if you really feel threaten. But as for your relationship being at stake you really have nothing to worry about if what you and your guy have is real this situation will only make it stronger.

Posted 2009-05-24T05:52:29Z
 
1 helpful answer

Hi! My name is Bey. First, you should not be the one who takes full responsibility for this situation.  Your boyfriend needs to owe up and take charge of the resolve of this possibly serious issue. If he cares about you, he will do what ever is logically and rationally necessary to end this problem with out you or him getting hurt. In addition, you don't know this girl. You don't know what extent she will go to gain your boyfriends attention. If you feel in danger in any way, call the authorities. Your welfare is paramount...Bey

Posted 2009-05-25T00:35:42Z
Helpful?(1)
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1 helpful answer

fanks to all of you for advice and support. but the issue isnt that he is seeing her behind my bak. he has changed his number twice but one of his mates (witch are mates no more) kept giving her his number and as for blocking her number it has been tryed but she continues texting and ringing of different numbers so its hard to tell if it is her or not when answering. she is friends with alot of our friends and could easily find out alot going on with us and for that we now try to keep everything to ourselfs. and i know for a fact he wouldnt cheat on me with this girl for the fact that she hit his mum in the middle of an argument between us and her and his mum got in the middle of it so as you can al see yes i am a little frightened by her, shes a very intimadating girl and very unpridictable so my best option if the police as so many has mentioned it, but thanks so much by sharing you'r thoughts you were a great help thanks one again .... kate

Posted 2009-05-25T02:33:15Z
 
134 helpful answers

Your direction,not your intention,determines your destination

Let him change his phone number, then if she still shows up where he is he should tell  her" if her stalking continued he was calling the police". If this fails to work then call the police and have them talk to her. Go right then and get a restraining order and make sure it is enforced by him. If she's twenty one as you think, she should know better unless she is mentally challanged. Be on the alert in case she thinks it's you that put the police idea in his head.There is no reason to argue about it, just do something about it.Good luck with your relationship.

Posted 2009-08-24T02:09:04Z

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