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Memorial urns

When placing flowers on a gravesite, do you only place them on the side of the deceased?  My mother is still living.  When she fixes the urns that are permanently placed on both sides of the dual headstone, she always does both vases: one on my father's side and one on her side (in order to make it symmetrical and look "done."  She was recently told that she should only do the side of the deceased.  Is this true??


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