Ive been with my wife for 6 years but i cheated a ...

Hi Ep,
You are not going to like my answer and I appologise in advance: No, you don't love your wife and you have no respect to her.... If you loved her you wouldn't cheat on her.  Since you cheated several times that indicates 2 things: You miss something in your relation and that you are not matured enough to be able to hold yourself from doing what you know is wrong.   You are in a very dangerous cross-roads: Either you decide to stay and that means putting 100% efforts to bring your relations back to track (and no cheating any more) or get a divorce and do what you want.  I have a hunch the you are a player and won't be able to settle for one woman..... Am I right ? (I know I am ....).   I appologise for being direct and blunt, I only wanted to tell you the truth.... (put a mirror in front of you).   Think about the whole issue VERY seriousely !.
Best regards,

OronD (2 thumbs)... but may I add for I believe my friend above has been much too gracious... we use the word cheat in such a casual context... but cheating implies dishonesty... a form of robbing or stealing... and betrayal.... with that being said you mention a wife of 6 yrs (whom I have deep sympathy for) but neglect to mention children... I hope this means you dont have any... if you do I hope you realize what your actions have also robbed them of not to mention the deep trauma they will sustain over this ordeal... again fingers crossed children arent a part of your infidelity... and on the other side... this other woman or grl as you refer... actions define our character... just the simple fact this female would be willing to settle for someone elses husband and be willing to take on the role as the home wrecker or misstress speaks volumes of her character... and in that case maybe the two of you deserve each other... but may I just warn you... this other woman... may move on to another married man after you abandon your wife to settle with her... chances are you are a challenge and once she has conquered her game... she'll move on... and in the long run... you may end up crying over spilt milk... be careful what you wish for... my wish is for your wife to find a man who can be true and treat her with respect and honesty...

You should find someone you can be faithful to. You are hurting these women by cheating and they deserve better. Go with your heart, but whoever you decide to be with, they should be the ONLY one.

Well it sounds to me like you're in a tough situation here. Since you have feelings for both women , I would see a trained professional to help me sort out my feelings. They may suggest you seperate from your wife, assuming she hasn't filed for divorce, and quit seeing the girlfriend, until you have gotten your heart and head straightened out. If your employer offers an EAP, employee assistance programs, that would be a good place to start as it is usually free for so many visits. You would be amazed at how a therapist can help you find your real feelings amongst the chaos that sometimes goes on when your heart and head are at odds with each other. I wish you much luck with this, my friend.

I think you should get out of your marriage and stay away from the girls you've had affairs with.  Obviously, you aren't willing to commit to just one and that's cruel.  Women are very sensitive and fragile emotionally, and you shouldn't play on that.  I definitely do think you need to get away from your wife b/c she deserves better than someone like you who has seriously had such little respect for her that you'd go out elsewhere looking for some whore.

OronD I think is right. You are just hurting your wife and its wrong, because you've not only had just one but a few affairs meaning you dont truly love her nor have a bit of respect for her.

You need to tell you wife you are going to go away for a week and think everything through. You cant contact any of your lovers or wife. You need to figure out who you are before you can be with someone. You cant love both women, you may love what you get from your lover and love what your wife does for you(washing clothes, cooking dinner, etc) but you dont love them. Figure out if you can love someone and be true to them then figure out if you can love your wife and be mature by not cheating on her.

Then go back home and tell your wife why and what you've learned.

If you cannot make a complete committment of the heart to your wife, then you should leave.  She deserves better than that.  You should at least move out until you come to that decision so she doesn't have to watch the process.  I'm sure your wife is making your life hellish ~ you definitely deserve that.  You need to take a really closee look at what you want, both for yourself and your family.  And by all means, grow up and keep your pickle in the jar!