Joint custody and child support

Vatch,

You have not indicated the jurisdiction within which you reside, and within which your ex resides.  Family Law differs in differents countries/states. Therefore you would have to check the law in the relevant jurisdicitions.  Having said that, there are a few things about your account which raise questions/issues which you might want to explore:

1.  If you have a joint custody order, which specifies that you should have your son living with you 50% of the time there should have been arrangements specified for the "hand-over".  The Ex might have made allegations to police that she is afraid of you, that you might have threatened her, etc.  If a "protection" order was made without your knowledge, and that you were arrested by Police, you should have asked to see that order, and indicate at the time of your arraignment that you had no knowledge of the order and that you wish to appeal it.

2.  Had you appealed that order, and asked for a hearing you would have been offered the opportunity to lift the order, and or dispute the arrest was made without you having knowledge that you were in breach of a court order.  The Judge would not have had the possibility of sending you to jail on a custodial sentence.

3.  Given the fact that you received a custodial sentence, means that you were unable to take care of your son for 50% of the time during the period you were in jail.  Therefore it means that your ex would be entitled to child support for the period you were unable to care for your child.  However, as during your custodial sentence you were not in a position to earn money and support your child.  So in essence her request for child support should have been directed to the state, and not you.

In other words your entire story sounds rather implausible.  The fact that your ex is in a relationship with another man is not relevant, unless your son has told you and others that he is being abused by the new "boyfriend" or by his mother.  Neither is your animosity and anger at your ex helping you make and present a coherent case that will win the support of the court and judge (who almost by definition will support mothers, and be biased against fathers).  Hope this helps. 

Vatch,

I don't know what the laws are in SC (I am in the UK).  But even if a request is made on an ex-parte basis, it would have to be brought to a hearing and decision with both parties present (unless you failed to appear after being served with the summons). 

You probably should not have decided to change the "hand-over" arrangements without notifying the court.  It is OK for the two of you to agree you want to vary the order, but to "cover" your back, you should have written to the court (and the social services) informing them that by mutual consont you are now picking up your son at each other's residence.  This would have made it very difficult for her to make false allegations against you.  That does not mean that she would shy away from making false allegations.

Some people become (or are) very vindictive towards their ex partners.  In most cases people behave reasonably and rationally.  But there is a minority of men and women who suffer from various personality disorders and continue to fight a war against their ex.  It matters little that you want your sons mother to be reasonable, if she does not want to, she is perfectly capable of continuing her toxic behaviour which is damaging to your son as well.  It is a pity, but realistically there is little you can do.  Document all her "dirty tricks" and if it gets worse file a complaint with Social Services and the Police.  But what I don't understand is how you managed to get a custodial sentence and do time in Jail?  Especially considering the fact that you have the care of a young boy...