My 61 year old girlfriend has been married 30 years and has two grown kids. My problem is that she is telling her husband that she is spending time with me (I'm divorced and living alone) when she is actually out gambling. This has been going on for over a year, and now she tells me that she is not just gambling, but having an affair with one of the dealers at the card club. I never know when she is using me as an excuse to get out of the house, and has made me promise never to call her house in case her husband answers. We've been friends for over 20 years, and I know her husband. He is a real hothead and I'm afraid if he ever finds out about her gambling and/or affair, he's going to come after me in addition to her. They have a bad marriage, and have had for years. She says this affair is the only opportunity she will ever have to feel cared for again in her life. I think she's probably right about that, but I don't want her to involve me in her deceit. We have a close group of 6 girlfriends, and I'm the only one she's told (according to her). I was tempted to tell "the girls" about the gambling (she is gambling with money from her 2nd mortgage), but have kept quiet, so far. I took her to Gamblers Anonymous but she refused to go back. This new news about the affair is over the top. On one level I see that she is happy for the first time in a very long time, and I don't want to take that away from her, but on another level, I feel burdened, guilty, and used. Your advice would be much appreciated.
