I am 22 years old and 2 months pregnant. I'm having trouble figuring out how to handle my situation.
I was sleeping with my ex of 3 years. We had broken up due to another girl. He moved out to Las Vegas then moved to California to live with her for about 2 months. When they back to visit, he and I slept together. The entire time they lived together we talked. She caught us talking a few times and forbade him to talking to me. Yet, he found was to talk to me every chance he got, unless we got into an argument about her and the situation.
When he moved back by himself, they broke up. When then got together, spent as much time as we could for being 2 hrs apart(he's from a small town in southern KS and I'm closer to Kansas City), and slept once in Aug and once in September, but after those times we slept together he would confess that he wasn't over her. They have a very argumentive realtionship. Even though they've only dated since March. He and I never fought unless he was an idiot. Majority of the time it was a breeze. He, however, likes drama I'm learning. He's also only 23 yrs old, but definitely doesn't act or thinks like he is. He acts much younger.
Anyways, I said it was over after our last sleep over in September. I couldn't take anymore up and down confusion. He still wanted to talk until she moved here in Oct. Just so happens, the week he went to bring her back home(she's from another small town 5 min away from his town) was the week I found out I was pregnant.
At first he wanted me to get an abortion but I refused for a few reasons. 1-i emtionally couldn't handle that, 2-i recently started to get back into religion, 3- i had already had one 2 yrs earlier with him, and 4-i regret the first time. After I had told him I wouldn't do it again, we talked about being together and making it work. He was on board. Saying things that made me full of hope. Then one day he changed his mind. The day he told her about what was going on. I went into a breakdown and my roommates called my parents and said to come get me(i was away at school, about 30min from where he lives) I've been home ever since. They pulled me out of school and away from him.
He lives with his grandparents who raised him and he still hasn't told them yet, for they are very religious and he says he wants this decision to be his own, even though he's told all his closest friends. I've seen him 2 or 3 times since we found out and since I've been home. We don't talk, except one day out of the week he contacts me asking me how I'm doing then goes into a speech about how he's wrong and how he wants to do the right thing, yet loves his girlfriend so much and how he wants to marry the girl he loves. But, then he starts saying how we'd be happy together and then says he wants to see me and begs for my forgiveness. So, I give in(due to the fact I'm in love with this guy and have been since we've been together practically and is pregnant with our child) and go see him(he doesn't have a car. He sold it to move to California) Because I still have a house and roommates down at school, I stay there. Usually what happens and I go down planning to see him then receive a text the day were suppose to see each other from him that says he can't see me, he won't be involved because he wants to be with the girl he loves.
The last time we saw each other, she found out and texted him the entire time throwing a fit threatening that she was going to come over and things like, "you two are *ucking! aren't you?" I got very upset and started crying. I just don't understand why she doesn't get that there's a child involved and how she won't even allow us to speak. My ex says it's because she's threatened by me and she's jealous, fearing were going to get back together. She basically hates me. It seems like everytime they spend time with one another, he comes back to me and is hateful and mean and says things like how he wants to be with her and wants to marry her and I'm pretty much on my own.
I don't know what to do or think. My parents are very religious and say if he's involved then we have to be married and if he's not then he's out of the picture for they think it'll be too hard on us to not be together and in each others' lives, and I agree. I want him to give the baby and I a chance at a family, but at the same time, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me and be in fear that he'll have an affair if were together. The whole thing is just very unfair. I'm not sure he is saying he loves her this much all of a sudden because I'm pregnant. I question his motives because, if he was in love with her so much, why am I the one who's pregnant? I didn't come on to him or ask him to spend time with me, that was all him.
I tell him now that I think it would be beneficial and do us some good if we spent some time together. Just watch a movie or go to dinner. Anything. I feel he is making this hard decision harder for him because he only spends time with her and never sees me. He seems like he's afraid to. I tell him that she will move on with her life. She's already broken up with him twice since she's been back and one time she went out with another guy the next day. She's going to KU next semester and I know she will meet someone there because she's not the long distance type of girl. He still isn't sure if he's moving there or not, or so he tells me.
I know this is a SUPER long story, but I'm incredibly confused and lost. I am a good girl that comes from a good family. I was head over heels in love with someone who doesn't know what love is and is now carrying our child. I don't know what else I can do to give this baby a chance. Adoption is out of the question. It would haunt me for the rest of my life. What would be the best way to go about this from my angle?
Please, Help!
