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I'm 11 weeks pregnant and the baby's not my husband's

I had sex with my best friend about three months ago. I'm currently 11 weeks pregnant. My husband and I are newlyweds... we just got back from our honeymoon two days ago. I cheated on my then-fiance with my best friend while I was drunk (not sure if that constitutes rape, since I was unable to consent) and I've been scared to death to tell both men. I'm afraid that my husband will want to annul our marriage and that my best friend will want custody of the baby. He still has feelings for me and has been avidly pursuing me for the past year, right up until I married my husband. I'm afraid that if I tell him the baby is his, he's going to try again, and I'm simply not interested in a relationship with him like that.

 

This is a really sticky situation, but I need to get it straightened out. I feel so stupid. I'm already starting to show a little bit and I can't hide this much longer. I want to tell my husband I'm pregnant, but there is no conceivable way the baby could be his and he'll know that. I would really like for us to work things out. But I know if I tell my friend that I'm pregnant with his baby, then he's going to consistently try to screw things up between me and my husband.

 

Any ideas on what I could (or should) do?

 

Please no flames... I know marrying my husband when I knew I was pregnant with another man's child was a stupid move.


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Get up the courage to tell both men the truth. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it..it's that simple. Everything we do has consequences and it is time you tell the truth and face whatever consequences are to come.Explain the situation to your husband and be honest about your feelings. Make it clear to your best friend also, that you only are interested in him as a friend. If he thinks he has a chance it is only because he has been led on and you need to be completely honest with him.  Maybe things won't be as bad as you think.
Posted 2009-01-26T03:27:43Z
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Rated #1 out of 5
 

Firstly hun I am very sorry to hear that you are in such difficult circumstances. I hope what I say is of some help to you.

If you decide to tell your husband that the baby is his you need to consider the repucussions ie your childs appearance, your own personal concious and the childs future.

Morally I should tell you to come clean with your husband and your friend but as we are all human and make mistakes this is not as easy as most would think. If you decide to tell your husband about this, then be completely honest and genuine. He married you because he loves you, your best off knowing how he feels about the situation and weather he can bypass the situation and accept the child as your own. Ask him for forgiveness and advice and ensure him it was a once off occurance and that it wont happen again.

I know its easy for me to throw advice at you as I don't understand the situation completely. But stress and worrying is not good for you or the child (I recently had a miscarriage linked to stress) and its best that you get through the rough start so you can plan for you and your childs future.

I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that you and your husband work something out.

All the best huni
Posted 2009-01-31T03:14:34Z
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Rated #2 out of 5
 

The only thing you can do is be honest and take some ownership and responsibility for your situation...  finding other stuff and people to blame isn't going to do you or anyone any good.  The longer you try to deny/avoid reality, the crazier it will make your world.  Simple as that!
Posted 2009-02-10T06:52:04Z
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Rated #3 out of 5
 

Keep it secret, get it aborted, and move on. That's how we did it back in the day. Sad but true
Posted 2009-03-05T15:16:20Z
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Rated #4 out of 5
 

Have an abortion. It doesn't seem like you'd make a very good mother.

And don't dilute the horror of rape by even suggesting that your drunken cheating could be classified as rape.
Posted 2009-03-23T14:41:37Z
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Rated #5 out of 5

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